Santana's Lament
by GuitarGrrrl
Summary: SPOILERS for season 2. my version of what happens with Santana after getting turned down by the person she loves  R&R please COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing, just borrow characters and twist story-lines. There's also a lot of fluff. I love fluff, I can't help it. I also enjoy reviews.

Note: This is my first GLEE story. I use commas often to indicate a pause. This one starts with Santana's thoughts moments after Brittany broke her heart.

Spoilers: end of season 2. haven't seen it? Don't read it. (unless you don't care)

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><p>After Santana's confession to Brittany she storms off to the girl's bathroom and slams the door behind her. With her head in her hands and sobbing uncontrollably, she starts pacing back and forth in the small space. She's trembling; her breath is labored. She feels like her heart is going to pound through her ribcage. She paces back and forth a bit before her legs start to feel weak. She holds the wall for support, her other hand on her chest. Her sobs become more violent and she lets her knees give out. Her legs are useless and she can no longer hold herself up. Now on the floor, she slides herself over to the wall and lets her face feel the cool surface of the tile. She pulls her knees in tight to her body and hugs them, resting her head on them and crying into her own lap, one hand clenching her stomach. The broken girl sat on the floor like this crying until her head stopped pounding. Now it was spinning, full of racing thoughts.<p>

She took her journal out of her bag which was sitting on the floor next to her and began to write. Because after what just happened, she was going to want to remember this so it never happened to her again.

_{Santana's writing, her most intimate thoughts- a side of her no one sees, not even Brittany}_

**_Britt and I were always best friends. _**

**_I always thought her way of looking at the world was different, more literal than everyone else's. It made her who she is today. She's stronger than she gives herself credit for and I have always tried my best to show her that. My heart knew I loved her before my head realized it._**

**_I was always the tough one. If some kid knocked me down on the playground, I got up and kicked them right back. Britt would come over to me and ask if I wanted to hold her hand, because that was what made her feel better. I always took her hand and we'd go find somewhere else to play. We were five._**

**_One year she stayed at my house for Easter. She never dyed easter eggs before and in my house it was a tradition. When my mom came into my room and told us it was time to dye eggs Brittney started crying. She was sad because she didn't want to kill the baby chickens. I explained what it meant and she grabbed my hand and everything was ok again. We were six._**

**_We've been cheerleaders since we were seven years old. Brittney was afraid to sign up so I joined the squad with her because she was my friend. First day of practice she was nervous, so she asked me to hold her hand. We were seven. _**

**_We went to each other's houses after school sometimes. We'd practice our cheer routines, even make up some of our own. As the years went by, nothing really changed. She would make up the dance moves and I would write the words. We were a great team. We were nine._**

**_We'd watch movies when we had sleep overs and when she'd get scared she'd reach over and hold my hand. It was innocent; comforting. She loved to pretend she was a princess. She'd often act out the scenes from whatever movie we just watched. She was always the damsel in distress and I'd have to play the prince and rescue her. Sometimes I'd even kiss her on the cheek when I rescued her from whatever evil was after her. We loved playing pretend. We were ten._**

**_It wasn't much different when we were at school. She used to get picked on a lot, teased because she didn't grasp a concept right away or because she said things that didn't quite make sense to everyone else. People told her she was stupid and when she would cry, I was there to hold her hand. I always had the quick come-back for the kids who made fun of her. I had to protect her because, you see, I was her prince; I was her knight in cheer-leading armor. _**

**_High School started and we stayed that way. Walking down the halls looking hot in our Cheerios uniforms with our pinkies linked, and nothing mattered. We were hot bitches who were happy and nothing could bring us down. Everyone knew us as Santana and Brittany or Brittany and Santana. We started meeting new people, spending time after school at other people's houses. I was spending alot of time with Puck making out behind the bleachers. Brittany started her boy career by making out with a lot of football jocks one after another after another. She started asking me for kissing advice and that's when it started. We would go to her house after school and kiss, cuddle and sometimes even fall asleep in each other's arms. I'd wake up and she'd be laying on her stomache next to me trying to figure out her math homework. I'd do my best to help her, but as I often didn't pay attention in class we'd go right back to the 'sweet lady kisses' neither of us could resist. During out math test the next day she put out her pinky and I wrapped mine around hers letting her know she could do it. My thoughts went back to our 'study session' and I had to give her her hand back to let myself focus on my own test. That was last year. We were sixteen._**

**_My feelings started changing, or maybe I began to notice them more. I started having this twinge whenever I'd see her give her special smile to someone that wasn't me. Especially if that someone was a boy. When she told me she was dating Artie exclusively, my heart sunk and I vowed to win her back, but she was never mine to begin with. I had to do SOMETHING. We kept up our regular routine after school: cheerios practice (or glee depending on what day of the week it was), then we'd go to one of our houses to do homework. Which really meant we'd do a lot of kissing. It never went past kissing and cuddling but I felt so much from those sweet, soft kisses. So I thought she had feelings since even though she wasn't with any boys besides Artie, she still let me kiss those delicious lady lips. I felt like we were closer than ever before._**

**_She never had the confidence in herself, but when it came to her friends she would always stand by them no matter what._**

**_I let my walls come down and told her all my secrets. I told her my true feelings. I told her I am a lesbian. She was the only person I told. She never judged me. And I thought telling her my feelings would lead her to telling me she felt the same. But she didn't. In glee club we sang a duet and I was too embarrassed to sing a love song. It was Britt that pushed ME to sing one. She said she'd stand by me and not only support me, but she said she'd do it too. She said we'd stand up together and tell our friends how we feel. Her words echo in my head: _Come on fondue for two and I'll ask you to prom. All you have to do is say yes._ So naturally, I thought it would be OK for me to tell her how I felt... about her. _**

**_So, I did. _**

**_I told her I loved her and that I wanted to be with her and for a moment, my heart leapt, because she said she loved me too._**

**_But then she said something I couldn't wrap my mind around. She said she couldn't be with me... because she loves someone else. I confessed my love for her and when she told me she couldn't be with me because it wouldn't be fair to Artie, I fell in love with her more. At the same time, my heart broke and for the first time in my life, my best friend isn't here to pick up the pieces...or even to hold my hand. I told her it wasn't fair for her to lead me on. She didn't understand. All those kisses we shared, the songs we sang together, to each other... the innocent touches of our hands now meant something more to me... but to her, nothing changed. She was still the same carefree Brittany she'd been since the day I met her. _**

**_I am crushed. My heart breaks every time I look at her. I can't see what she sees in him. I can't believe she loves him and loves me too. You can't love two people at the same time, not equally. But I guess that's why she's with him and not me. She must love him more or differently. I stood by her side her whole life and fell in love day after day after day. She never felt the same. She loves me... but she's not in love with me._**

**_My stomach is aching. My chest is heavy. I have a lump in my throat and the only person that can make it go away is the person who put it there in the first place. I miss her. But i can't be near her, not feeling this way. Not knowing she doesn't want me. _**

**_Things are different now. _**

**_I never realized that all those years while I was being Brittany's prince... I never made a single friend other than her. Now I'm alone with my sad broken heart. _**

**_The tears don't stain my cheeks any longer because I've been crying for so long. My eyes are puffy. Glee club is about to start and I can't go in there looking like this._**

She put the pen down and exhaled a deep sigh. She was still a little shaky. She had to compose herself.****

"Here," A soft hand held out a tissue, "Take this."

To Be Continued...

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><p>*So...WHO HANDS HER THE TISSUE? Comments? Please review.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: No reviews.

I'm not telling you who helps Santana.

Yet.

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><p>"Here," A soft hand held out a tissue, "Take this...You're gonna need to freshen up your make-up too." The girl bends down, grabs Santana's purse and puts it on the edge of the sink. She opens it up and starts fumbling through it to find the cheerleader's compact, lipstick and eyeliner. The girl bends down to a squat so she's face to face with the awestruck Santana who has been sitting on the cold tile of the girls' bathroom with her back against the wall, crying for the better part of the day.<p>

"Can you stand?" The girl spoke softly. "I put your make-up on the sink so you can compose yourself."

"I- I don't need your help."

"You may not want MY help, but you certainly need SOMEONE to help you, and since I happen to be the one who walked in on you like this, It's only fair that you let me help you."

The girl in front of her stood and held out her hand. "Come on, get up. Even if you decide to skip glee today, you can't spend all night in this disgusting bathroom. And on the floor!"

Santana used the tissue to wipe some of her tears and blow her nose. She let her journal fall to the floor, ignoring the noise it made and the fact that it had fallen face down with the pages open, probably wrinkled now. With a sniffle she looked up and couldn't understand why she was being so nice.

She grabbed the other girl's hand and used it to balance herself as she stood. Seeing herself in the mirror only made matters worse and she started crying again. She still had that pang in her chest from being heartbroken. The knot in her throat wouldn't go away. Santana leaned over the sink and began splashing cold water on her face. It was a wonderful sensation after how heated she had been from being upset. Tears still managed to seep out. She was handed some paper towels to dry her face.

"Thanks." She mumbled. She hadn't meant to mumble. It was just difficult to speak with a lump in your throat.

"Start getting yourself together. Do you want to go to glee club, or are you skipping today?"

The Latina didn't speak. She stared at herself in the mirror and began putting make-up on. Her bag and journal were still on the floor

"Here, I'll put your things on the sink over here and let you compose yourself. I have to go to glee today because we're brainstorming for prom songs and I have some ideas."

Santana still stood quietly. Once her make-up was a little better and her face looked less red, she turned to look at the girl that had came to help her.

"So? What's the decision?"

"Home." Santana paused "Now." She put her things in her bag and started walking toward the bathroom door. She turned to the other girl again and whispered "Thank you" one more time. Exiting the room and heading to her car, Santana left school that day with a heavy heart and a splitting headache.

The girl was left standing there by herself dumbfounded. There was a reason she came to the bathroom. It wasn't the first time she'd seen Santana cry. She wondered if the girl was drunk... though, she didn't smell any alcohol.

As she sat in the stall thinking about her song suggestions for prom she noticed a folded piece of paper on the floor near where Santana was sitting. When she was finished, she washed her hands, dried them, and picked up the paper. It only took her a second to decide whether or not to read it.

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><p>AN: Shall I continue?


	3. Chapter 3

moments later...

"OK everyone settle down," Mister Schuster spoke. "As you know we've been asked to perform at prom. Who's got some ideas?"

"Mister Schuster, I have the perfect song!" The girl stood and handed him the paper she had been poring over since she found it moments ago. She couldn't think of a more perfect song to sing at prom. The other glee club members rolled their eyes. This one _always_ had something to say.

Rachel stood and handed him the piece of paper which contained lyrics to a beautiful love song.

"Thank you, Rachel, for the suggestion."

Rachel couldn't stop thinking about the distraught cheerleader as she stood there looking at her fellow Glee-clubbers.

"You're welcome. It wasn't my idea, per say, and I have many ideas I'm dying to share with you all, but there's a personal matter I need to take care of. May I be excused?"

"Of course Rachel is everything alright?"

Without hesitation, or acknowledgement to her teacher's question, Rachel grabbed the piece of paper out of his hand and ran out of the choir room as fast as she could.

The rest of the students stared at each other in shock for a moment.

Finally, Mercedes spoke up. "I don't think I'd ever see the day when Rachel Berry didn't have a million things to say."

"Hey- Where's Santana?" Kurt turned and asked Brittany.

"I don't know." The blond cheerio sat next to her boyfriend, Artie, holding his hand on her lap.

"Is everything alright Brittany?" He asked politely and squeezed her hand lovingly.

"I don't think so Artie." Brittany looked down at the floor trying to hold back tears. "I have to go." She pulled her hand away, stood and just as fast as Rachel, ran out of the room.

"What was that all about?" Finn Asked.

"I have no idea, but looks like some drama is about to play out." Kurt stated.

The choir room became a buzz with whispers, speculation and even some giggles as the students spoke about the three girls who weren't there. Quinn, feeling slightly out of the loop and concerned with her friends, stood and left unnoticed. Mr. Shuster was baffled.

"Alright everyone let's calm down. Let me hear what you're thinking of singing at prom. We need some good dance numbers people."

The frustrated teacher turned around and wrote PROM at the top of the whiteboard.

Rachel arrived home from school a bit earlier than her parents were used to.

"You're home early sweetie, is everything ok?" Her dad asked lovingly.

"No, daddy, everything's not ok. I found Santana crying in the girls' restroom after school today and I didn't know what to do. She was so sad. I'm kind of worried about her."

"Maybe you should go check on her, see if she's ok."

"Well, I tried calling her, but she won't answer her phone." Rachel was feeling defeated.

"Why don't you borrow my car and see if she's home. Maybe having a friend in a comfortable environment will help her talk about things."

"You're so smart daddy. Thank you." Rachel leaned up to kiss her dad on the cheek.

"Just don't tell your father and be home by eleven. It is a school night after all."

"OK!" Rachel called out as she took the car keys out of the basket by the front door and left her father standing by himself in their living room.

"Who was that honey?" Rachel's other dad came in and asked.

"It was Jehovah's wittinesses. I sent them away." He spoke, keeping their daughter's secret safe. It wasn't that big of a deal, it just wasn't in their practice to let Rachel go out on a school night.

At Santana's house...

A rapid banging on the door made Mrs. Lopez jump in her chair. She walked to the door and looked through the peep hole to see who it could be. She recognized the blond girl as her daughter's best friend and opened the door.

"Brittany, What's the matter?"

"Is she here?" Brittany breathed heavily as she tried to catch her breath.

"She is. She told me not to let anyone in her room. Is she ok? What happened? Did you two have a fight?"

"Something like that. Can I please just try to talk to her?"

"You can try. She won't answer the door for me and it's locked."

Brittany practically flew up the stairs to Santana's room and banged on the door.

"Santana- we have to talk. Please! I'm sorry. I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt, especially not you. Please open the door."

There was no response.

Brittany pounded on the door again "Santana, please I'm begging you," she spoke at the closed door.

Santana's mom watched the scene and felt bad for the blond girl, she seemed to desperate.

"Brittany, I know you care about her but maybe it's best if you just give her some time. I know my daughter. She won't give in until it's her idea."

"I did this. I broke her. She'll be sad forever if I don't fix it."

"I'm sure she won't be sad forever. Why don't you come have have a snack with me and tell me what happened?"

"OK" Brittany said, trying to hold back tears. "I'd like that."

Meanwhile...

Santana is laying on her bed clenching a pillow and holding a picture of her and Brittany in her hand. Her soft sobs are making her shoulders shake as she looks at the photograph and reminisces about their past.

A frantic banging on her bedroom door made her jump. She wipe a tear from her face. She didn't want anyone to see her like this. She didn't want to talk to anyone. She ignored the knocking and tried to be a quiet as possible hoping the person would give up and think she was asleep. That was when she heard it: Brittany's voice echoed in the hallway and in Santana's mind.

"Santana, Please I'm begging you. Open the door! We have to talk."

She couldn't face Brittany, not after what happened. She was too ashamed. She growled through clenched teeth and sat up in her bed. She grabbed her pillow and wrapped it behind her head, effectively covering her ears. She clamped the pillow tight over her hears with her hands, and plopped herself back down on the bed. She pulled her legs up close to her chest, and tried not to cry as she lay there in the fetal position. From this angle, she was facing her bedroom window, and stared blankly through it, her eyes open but not really looking at anything.

Then she saw movement.

Outside her bedroom window she saw something silver and heard a clang. She unclenched the pillow and started to sit up. Then, from what seemed like out of no where, she saw a hand make a fist, and bang on her window.

"Shit." She exclaimed, "This bitch doesn't give up."

The not furious Latina hurried over to the window.

"Brittany S. Pierce, I swear to god if you don't leave me alone-" Santana's words were cut short when she saw who was really at her window.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the delay. **

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><p>"Hey. I saw Brittany's car in the driveway, I thought you might need some rescuing." Rachel Berry was standing on a ladder, waiting for Santana to open the window.<p>

"Berry? What the fuck are you doing here? Haven't you seen me humiliated enough for one day?"

"I came to see if you were ok. I've seen you cry before but only when you were drunk and so at first I thought you might have been drunk, but I didn't smell any alcohol and then I went to glee and after about thirty seconds I knew I had to come see if you were alright. Then I saw Brittany's car in the driveway. When I got to your front door and heard someone yelling that you wouldn't come out of your room I figured..." Santana cut Rachel off.

"Are you gonna help me get out of here or are you gonna stand there at the top of a ladder and talk all day?"

Santana helped the girl into her bedroom. "Are you actually asking for my help Santana Lopez?"

"No. I'm using you because you're here, now grab that bag over there and hold it open for me."

Rachel did as she was told and followed the cheerleader around her room picking up items that didn't quite make it into the bag as the her classmate tossed things in her general direction. Rachel snatched Santana's journal off her bed and slid it into the bag while she wasn't looking.

"OK." The Latina panted. "I think I got everything."

"Alright. You go first, I'll toss you the bag and then I'll follow."

Santana wasn't one to take orders, but it seemed the most logical strategy. She just hoped Berry didn't want to hang out with her after she escaped. After dismounting from the ladder, Santana noticed Brittany's car still in the driveway.

"Shit. Berry, we gotta motor. She's still here!"

"Alright. I'm going as fast as I can. I'm not a cheerleader. I don't have your agility."

"Aren't you an aspiring actress? Act like the building's on fucking fire and let's go!" Santana was becoming more and more panicked. She DID NOT want to see Brittany right now.

Rachel finally made it to the ground and led the way to where she had parked her car.

"I parked down the street when I saw Brittany's car in your driveway."

"What made you think to do that Berry?"

Rachel reached into her pocket as they approached her car and sat down.

"How'd you know to come to my window and not the front door?" Santana asked, out of breath, still waiting for the answer.

Pulling her hand out of her pocket with a folded piece of paper in it, as she handed it to the Latina, she looked her in the eyes and sang:

"And I feel that when I'm with you

It's alright.

I know it's right.

And the song birds are singing like they know the score..."

"Stop!" The Latina couldn't take it anymore. She took the paper from Rachel's hand. Tears were streaming down her face. "I can't fucking believe you Berry! You had no right to sing that. To read that. You went through my shit? What the hell? I knew the was an ulterior motive for your kindness. That's the last time I let my guard down! I can't believe this shit." Santana was beyond heated.

Completely ignoring the angry girl in her passenger's seat, Rachel stately flatly, "I think you should sing it at prom.

"I think you should sing it and look Brittany in the eyes and tell her and everyone that you love her."

"I already sang it to her. She doesn't love me like that. She loves Artie." Santana started sobbing again. "Fuck. Berry, I can't handle this heartbreak shit. She watched me sing and pour my heart out and told me we'd do this together. She was going to ask me to prom."

"Well, what happened?" Rachel finally started the car and started down the road.

"I told her I wasn't ready to go public with my sexuality. She didn't understand and went back to Artie."

"So what happened today that made you hide in the bathroom and cry?"

"I've told you enough Berry. Plus I don't think I can cry anymore and I know that if I talk about it I'll cry." Her voice cracked.

"Sounds like thinking about talking about it is making you cry."

Santana just nodded her head in agreement and let the tears fall down her face.

"Where are you taking me anyway?"

"I thought anywhere away from Brittany would be good right now. We're going to my house. I figure no one would think to look for you there. After a few hours you can call your mom and tell her where you are and it'll be OK."

"I guess." Santana sniffled.

"There's tissues in the glove box." Rachel said.

"Why are you doing this?"

"I'd want someone to do the same for me. I know it doesn't mean anything. I know we're not friends. But no one should have to be alone when they're in pain."

Santana cracked a half smile instead of saying thanks. It was hard enough coming out to your best friend and then having her break your heart let alone to have Rachel Berry pick up the pieces. As long as no one at school found out she would go along with this escape plan. She needed time. Time to think, time to breathe and she couldn't do that with her mom hovering and Brittany banging on her bedroom door.

By the time they pulled into Rachel's driveway Santana had regained her composure... for a moment.

"The fuck Berry? You're parents are home?" She huffed, seeing her other dad's car in the driveway.

"Santana, my dads are the best parents a teenage girl could ask for. Come on. It'll be fine." Santana rolled her eyes and followed her temporary savior.

"Dad! Papa! I'm home. And I brought a friend." Rachel guided the confused Latina through her home until she found her fathers. They were in the basement and were setting up their karaoke system.

"Hi sweetie." Rachel's dad Leroy said from behind the karaoke machine. "We've moved karaoke to tonight because we figured it would cheer up your friend. You said She's in glee club too, right?"

"Yes Daddy. She's in Glee. This is Santana." The nervous girl shook Mr. Berry's hand and looked around the room. She didn't really feel like singing.

"Hey. What's all the commotion?" Rachel's Papa came down the steps with a pitcher and glasses. I made some lemonade. Hi honey." He said as he kissed his daughter lightly on the cheek. "This must be Santana."

"You told your dads about me?" Santana whispered angrily through clenched teeth.

"Don't worry. I told you, they're not like other parents. They're cool."

"Santana, I'm Hiram and I see you've met my partner, Leroy." The man held out his hand and Santana reluctantly shook it. Hiram looked at his husband who was fiddling with wires. "Do you need help back there honey?"

"No, no I'll be fine. I told you I wanted to learn how to set this thing up."

"You're so cute when you try to be butch." Hiram joked.

"Hiram, do you really have to talk like that in front of Rachel's new friend?"

"Sorry, love. I can't help that I'm smitten."

"You don't have to be shy dad, Santana is a lesbian."

"Shit Rachel! Do you have to tell them EVERYTHING about me?" Santana yelled this time.

Leroy, fed up with the karaoke equipment, stood and walked over to the fuming Latina and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Don't be mad at Rachel, she just wants to help, and she doesn't have a verbal filter. Why don't you come have a seat while Hiram fixes us some dinner and we can talk."

Hesitantly, Santana walked over to the couch and sat down. Rachel sat at the other end of the couch and Leroy sat on an armchair nearby.

"Santana, is it true, what Rachel says? Are you a lesbian?"

The cheerleader looked down at her feet. "Yes."

"Sweetie, there's no reason to be ashamed." Leroy put his hand on Santana's hand which was on the armrest of the couch. "Look at me, Santana." She looked at her classmate's father with sad eyes.

"No matter what happens, everything will work itself out. I'm not saying it will be easy, but eventually, things won't seem so dreary. There's a song I want you to hear."

"Of course there is." Santana said flatly. "Runs in the family?" She said looking at Rachel.

"The apple didn't fall far from the tree." Rachel smiled when her dad whispered the name of the song her wished to sing. "I'll cue up the music."

Leroy squeezed the nervous Latina's hand and walked over to the small stage and stood behind the microphone waiting for the music to start.

The girls sat on the couch and listened as Leroy started to sing.

Leroy:

_Listen as your day unfolds_

_Challenge what the future holds_

_Try and keep your head up to the sky_

_Lovers, they may cause you tears_

_Go ahead release your fears_

_Stand up and be counted_

_Don't be ashamed to cry_

_You gotta be_

_You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold_

_You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard_

_You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger_

_You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm_

_You gotta stay together_

_All I know, all I know, love will save the day_

Rachel stood and walked over to her dad and joined him in singing the song.

Leroy and Rachel:

_Herald what your mother said_

_Readin' the books your father read_

_Try to solve the puzzles in your own sweet time_

_Some may have more cash than you_

_Others take a different view_

_My oh my heh, hey_

Rachel motioned for Santana to join them.

_You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold_

_You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard_

_You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger_

_You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm_

_You gotta stay together_

_All I know, all I know, love will save the day_

_Don't ask no questions, it goes on without you_

_Leaving you behind if you can't stand the pace_

_The world keeps on spinning_

_You can't stop it, if you try to_

_This time it's danger staring you in the face_

_Oh oh oh Remember_

Santana gave in, gave a half smile and began to sing.

Santana:

_Listen as your day unfolds_

_Challenge what the future holds_

_Try and keep your head up to the sky_

_Lovers, they may cause you tears_

_Go ahead release your fears_

_My oh my heh, hey, hey_

Leroy, Rachel and Santana:

_You gotta be_

_You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold_

_You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard_

_You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger_

_You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm_

_You gotta stay together_

_All I know, all I know, love will save the day_

_You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold_

_You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard_

_You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger_

_You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm_

_You gotta stay together_

_All I know, all I know, love will save the day_

When the song ended Santana hugged Rachel and Leroy and whispered a soft "Thanks."

Hiram had been watching from the bottom of the basement stairs. When the intimate moment was over, he clapped his hands. "I've got the next song! Refreshements are on the table."

The four of them took turns singing and enjoyed the evening.

After many show tunes and a few pop songs Rachel's parents decided they'd leave the girls to have fun on their own. Kissing and hugging their daughter goodnight, and hugging their daughter's new friend, the Berry men went to bed.

"So, do you feel a little better?" Rachel asked Santana.

"Yeah. Thanks, I needed this." Santana paused. When Rachel tried to hug her she puched the girl away. "Ok, I've had enough for one night. Got a place I can crash?"

"Yeah come on."

Rachel showed Santana to the guest room and closed the door behind her, going to her own room to settle down for the night.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: forgot to mention song title in chapter 4. "You gotta be" By Desiree.**

Meanwhile at the Lopez house...

Brittany and Mrs. Lopez are still sitting in the kitchen talking. In all the years Mrs. Lopez has known her daughter's best friend, nothing like this has happened. The two never fought, in fact, they were inseperable. But now, Santana was locked in her room, and Brittany was telling her things she never thought she'd hear about her own daughter.

"...and that's why she locked her self in her room and won't come out." Brittany finished. She looked at the woman she'd been spilling her guts to for the past two hours, who now had a dumbfounded look on her face.

"Brittany... My Santana is a fiery girl, I know that for sure, but a lesbian? I don't think so. She tells me everything and she would have told me."

"I don't think she's on fire Mrs. Lopez...but I know that She's afraid."

"Afraid of what?"

"That you'll look at her like you're looking at me right now." Brittany was almost sorry she told her friend's mother what happened that day and some of what had happened in the past few weeks, but she needed to talk to someone, and Mrs. Lopez had always been kind to her. "She confessed her love for me today. She's heartbroken. She thinks I don't love her but I do... Just not the way she wants me to right now."

"Brittany, sigh I can't hear this anymore. That's my daughter you're talking about. She has a boyfriend. A very sweet boy, on the football team."

"It's not real. They're just using each other to hide their true feelings."

"That's not possible Brittany."

"Ask her yourself. Dave is gay too."

"I'll do no such thing, I can't listen to these lies any longer. Don't sit at my table and accuse my daughter and her boyfriend of something they're not. I'm going to check on my daughter. _You_ should go home." Mrs. Lopez stood and turned away from the cheerleader.

"I'm sorry." Brittany sobbed at the table in the Lopez kitchen while Mrs. Lopez headed towards her daughter's bedroom. Brittany wanted to hang around long enough to see if Santana would at least talk to her mother. That was when she heard Mrs. Lopez scream.

Brittany ran to the bottom of the stairs.

"What's wrong? Is she ok? What happened?" Brittany panted as she ran up the stairs.

"She's gone." Mrs. Lopez paused. "Mi hija is not in her room."

Brittany pushed past the woman and into her friend's bedroom. The window was open and the curtains blowing wildly into the room.

Brittany started to worry. She knew she fucked up and this wasn't going to be easy.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Lopez." Brittany looked at the floor and started slowly walking to her car to head home.

"This is your fault."

Brittany paused.

"Yes. I told you it was my fault. I've also apologized." Dejected, the blonde girl walked to her car. She dried her tears and turned the key in her ignition. Before she was able to put the car in reverse, Mrs Lopez yanked open the passenger door, sat down and slammed the door behind her. She let out a rough sigh before speaking. Brittany just looked at her dumbfounded.

"I assume you're going to try to look for my daughter. I need to find her too."

"I'm not sure where she would go." Brittany was distraught. The woman that just told her to go away now wanted her help.

"Just drive." Mrs. Lopez sighed.

Back at the Berry house...

Santana sat on the bed in the Berry's guest room and began digging through her bag to find her pajamas. Her fingers felt something hard. She didn't remember tossing anything into the bag other than clothes. She immediately recognized the object. It was her journal. She hadn't read what she wrote earlier that day, it was pure stream of conscious and she was pretty sure it was about the one person she's been trying not to think about all day.

As she read the words she'd written, Santana started to cry. She tried her best to hold back the tears, but she had been holding on to them so long that her emotions just took control. The Latina didn't hear the soft knock at the door. Rachel opened the door a crack and saw that Santana was crying. She cleared her throat to let her new friend know she was standing outside the door. Without waiting for acknowledgement, Rachel entered the room with a glass of water in her hand and walked over to the bed where Santana was sitting. She put the water on the nightstand and sat next to the other brunette. She didn't say a word, but just listened to the sobs of the poor soul sitting next to her. For a few moments, the two sat in silence.

"I don't know what to do." Santana finally whispered for fear that her voice would crack.

"About what?" Rachel asked.

"I have all these feelings... And I don't know what to do with them. Everything I was taught as a child tells me that being a lesbian is wrong. But the feelings I have for Brittany don't feel wrong. And she's with Artie. I want to respect that, but I want her for myself. She's my best friend and sometimes my only friend. I can't lose that. I don't wanna be alone." Santana sobbed even harder now.

"You're not alone." Rachel put her arm around Santana's shoulders and started rubbing her back to comfort the girl. What she didn't expect was for the Latina to pull her into a hug and start crying into her sholder. Rachel instinctively wrapped her other arm around the weeping girl. "Shhhh. It's alright... You're not alone. I know I'm not your first choice for a friend, but..."

Santana put her hand up to Rachel's lips to stop her mid-sentence. She looked into the diva's eyes through her tears and said, "Thank You." The cheerleader removed her hand from her lips and started fiddling with the hem of her own shirt.

"You don't have to thank me."

"No, no, I do. I've been so mean to you for ages and here you are letting me cry on you and sleep in your guest room and meet your dads."

Rachel put her hands on the Latina's shoulders and bent to look at her face. "Santana, stop. It's not a big deal. You're going through alot right now. I'm just a person who doesn't want to see you hurting."

"Why? After all the pain I've caused? I deserve to be alone. I deserve to be slushied!"

"Nobody deserves to be alone, Santana, not even you. But yes, you do need a good slushie facial. I reccommend grape." Rachel smirked. Alteast she got the Latina to crack a smile.

"Dry those tears and get some sleep. School tomorrow."

"Thanks Rachel." The girls hugged and Rachel started to leave.

"Goodnight Santana."

"Goodnight Berry."

**A/N: I know, short chapter. The next chapter is the last chapter. Brittany and Santana will finally talk about things. Should they end up together or go their seperate ways? Seriously, review and let me know.**


	6. Chapter 6

Meanwhile...

Brittany drove Mrs. Lopez around for hours each suggesting places Santana might be, not knowing that all the while she was at Rachel Berry's house. Mrs. Lopez fell asleep in the passenger seat, and Brittany decided she should take the woman home.

Upon pulling up to the Lopez house she saw two cop cars with their lights on and a very upset Mr. Lopez on the porch talking to two officers with his arms folded across his chest. He had just given them a photo of his wife and daughter.

"I'm sorry Mr. Lopez. There's not much we can do since they haven't been missing for 48 hours yet."

"You have to do SOMETHING!" Mr. Lopez shouted. "That's my family!"

"Mr. Lopez, I undersand you're scared, but..."

"Mr. Lopez..." Brittany walked up behind the other officer causing his partner to stop talking mid-sentence. She had parked her car behind one of the police cars. "Your wife is asleep in my car. We were out looking for Santana and she fell asleep. Please don't be mad."

"Oh, mija rubia, I'm not mad at you. What do you mean you were looking for Santana? Donde esta mi hija?"

"I don't know Mr. Lopez. I think she ran away."

"Miss, why do you think she would run away?" One of the officers asked her.

"She's afraid."

Brittany began to explain what happened to the police. Mr. lopez was listening, but he watned to retrieve his wife from the blond girl's car. He opened the car door, knelt down and placed a loving hand on his wife's shoulder. "Wake up Mi Amor."

"Ana? Where's my Santana?" Mrs. Lopez was startled awake, but relaxed at the sight of her husband.

"Shhh. Honey, let's get you inside."

"Why are there cops?" Mrs. Lopez started to panic again. "What happened to mi hija? Where's my little girl?"

"Ma'am, you're husband called us when he came home a saw the front door wide open and an empty house." The officer took off his hat to greet the woman.

"I'm sorry papi. I was worried about our daughter. I should have left a note. I can't believe I forgot to shut the door." Mrs. Lopez blushed.

"It's ok honey. Go inside and make us some tea. Let me say goodbye to the officers and make sure Brittany gets on her way." He kissed his wife and shut the door behind her as she entered their home. Mr. Lopez shook both the officer's hands and they got in their cars and sped off.

"Thank You for helping us look for our daughter, Brittany. You are a true friend."

"I'm not really that good of a friend fright now."

"Why do you say that?" Mr Lopez put a hand on the sad girl's shoulder.

"It's my fault she's missing. Ask your wife. She'll tell you the whole story. Then you won't be thanking me." Brittany started to walk toward her car.

"Wait..." Mr. Lopez walked with her. "Please, if you hear from her..."

"I'll call and let you know... But I doubt she'll be calling me."

"I see that you care about her... so whatever happened, I hope you two patch things up."

"You might not say that after you find out what happened. Goodnight Mr. Lopez."

Brittany jogged the short distance to her car, and sped out of there pretty damn fast. She hated feeling helpless, and that's exactly what she was. She also felt lost because her best friend was no where to be found. And it was all her fault.

The next morning Santana and Rachel rode to school in silence. Santana drove them in her car and warned Rachel not to mention the events of yesterday to anyone. Rachel agreed and the two went their seperate ways. Santana took every precaution not to run into Brittany. She took alterante routes to her classes, even if it meant going out of her way. Classes she shared with the blone girl were so easy. She sat in the front of the classroom and kept her eyes on the teacher. People were whispering wondering why Santana was paying extra attention in class. Brittany drill holes in the Latina's head with her eyes and prayed that just once she'd turn her head to look at her. But she didn't.

Sitting up front and close to the door made it easy for Santana to leave zero point five seconds after the bell rang and sprint to her next destination without chancing an encounter with the blone girl she was avoiding.

Cheerios practice was another thing entirely. Santana knew that if she didn't smile Coach Sylvester would make her run laps around the gym while reciting Sue's list of 'why cheerleaders need to smile at all times.' Normally she didn't have a problem smiling during practice, but today she was sad and didn't want to deal with it.

"You think this is hard? Try living with hepatitis! Now that's hard!"

Santana tried her best, but when Brittany had to support her side of the pyramid, she let her smile fade just enough for Sue to notice.

"Lopez! Get your fake smile over here!"

"I'm sorry coach."

"I don't wanna hear it. You know what to do." Sue shooed her away and yelled into the megaphone. "Let's go ladies! You're like a school of dying fish. Quit flopping around and show me what cheerleaders look like!"

Santana jogged her laps. This day couldn't get any worse.

Santana had to stay late after practice to finish her punishment from Coach Sylvester. By the time she got home it was almost dinner time. She hoped her mother would be in the kitchen making dinner as always and that she'd have the opportunity to apologize for disappearing yesterday. She'd completely forgotten to call her mother and mention that she was staying at Rachel's for the night.

"Mama?" Santana called out as she tossed her keys into the basket by the door. She rounded the corner to the kitchen and didn't find her mother there. "Mom?" Santana yelled down the basement. She wasn't there either. Santana ran upstairs and looked in her mother's room. She wasn't home. Santana was mildly upset that her mother wasn't there to greet her. Wasn't she the least bit concerned about her? The tired Latina sighed and opened the door to her bedroom. She tossed her bag in the general direction of her closet. She noticed that atleast someone closed her window. That was when she saw her: sleeping soundly on Santana's bed, still in her cheerios uniform, was Brittany S. Pierce. The last person she wanted to see.

Santana walked slowly toward her bed which held the sleeping girl. She was ever so careful not to make a sound. She turned so that her back was facing the sleeping beauty, leaned against the bed and kicked off her shoes. She held on to the mattress for support. Then she felt a hand gently grab her wrist. Santana's heart was pounding in her chest and she felt a knot start to form in her throat. She wanted to say something but all that came out when she opened her mouth was a tiny squeek. Tears formed in her eyes and she clamped them shut in an attempt to keep them from falling.

"Hi." Brittany whispered sleepily.

Santana sat on the edge of her bed, and pulled her arm out of Brittany's gentle grasp. She could still feel the touch of the other girl on her skin. She rubbed her own wrist where Brittany's hand had just been as if to rid herself of the sensation. Chills ran through her body and goose pimples formed on her arms. She wrapped herself into a hug and exhaled. She hadn't realized she was holding her breath.

"Santana." Brittany sat up in the bed. "Look at me... Please?"

The Latina's eyes were still closed, but the tears had managed to escape anyway.

She turned her head to the side and pointed her face down toward her shoudler. She didn't open her eyes. "Leave." She said through gritted teeth.

"Don't be like that. Santana, please. Just let me talk."

"I think you've said enough. You've made it perfectly clear. So just go."

"Where were you yesterday?" Brittany pleaded.

"With a friend."

"I called Quinn, she said she didn't see you. You weren't with Mercedes or Puck or Finn...You weren't at the gym or the library or even at your church. Where could you have gone?"

"I told you. I was with a friend. And now I'm home." Santana stood and turned to face Brittany who was now also standing but on the opposite side of Santana's bed. "And you're sleeping in my bed while I'm not here? It's time for you to leave Britt." Santana didn't bother to wipe her tears away. She just let them fall. There was no point in trying to hide what Brittany had done to her now.

"I'm sorry. Just... let me explain." Brittany walked around the bed and was now standing in front of her crying friend. She attempted to pull her into a hug, but Santana shyed away. The Latina sat on her bed indian style and pulled a pillow onto her lap. She hugged it tightly and sobbed.

"You did that already. You told me you don't love me. So, go be with your boyfriend. And leave me alone."

"Can't we just talk? Can't we be friends?"

"It doesn't work that way." Santana tried to hold back the sobs.

"Why not?"

"Because you led me on Britt. You let me think you felt the same. I can't just forget that and be your friend right now."

"I'm sorry." Brittany sat on the edge of the bed.

"Can't you see my heart is broken? And you... here... in my room like this, is making it worse. I know I can't be with you and I need time away from you to accept that."

"I'm sorry." Brittany looked at her shoes and then over at Santana whose face was red from crying. "I... I'll go."

Brittany was shaking. She didn't want to leave Santana like this. "You should call your dad's cell phone."

"What?" Santana didn't understand the change of subject. "I came here right after practice in case you decided to come home. Your parents are really worried. They even called the cops when you ran away and we couldn't find you."

Santana didn't know what to say. Obviously Brittany had spoken to her parents about their fight.

"Call." Brittany stood and grabbed her backpack from the floor where she'd tossed it earlier. "Call your dad. And...let him know you're alright."

"What?" Santana sobbed. She was till upset from their conversation. Brittany's tone had changed from desperate to cold and factual. "How do you know that?"

"I came here after practice to tell your parents that you're ok. That you came to school today. Your mom will be back soon. She went to the grocery store to get things for dinner tonight. She told me I could stay and wait to see if you would come home. She's worried sick about you. I told her I thought you're come home because I didn't know what else to tell her. I didn't know you'd actually show up. And since you won't tell me where you went, I guess we really aren't friends now." Brittany started to walk toward the door.

"Britt." Santana climbed off her bed. "I was at Rachel's."

"Haha Santana. I might not be the brightest, but do you really think I'm THAT stupid?" Brittany dropped her bag and put her hands on her hips.

Santana took a tentative step closer toward the now angry blond girl. "Britt...I'm serious."

"Stop saying my name like that."

"Like what Britt?"

"Like we're friends. You told me we couldn't be friends and now you're lying about where you were?"

"I'm not lying. Here. Call her. She'll tell you everything." Santana held out her phone. "I'm a lot of things Brittany but I'm not a liar."

The blond girl threw the cell phone onto the Latinas bed. "I'm not going to call her. I believe you. Calm down."

Santana stepped a few more steps closer to the blond girl. "Britt. We can't. I can't do this. You hurt me. My heart hurts." Santana sobbed.

Brittany closed the distance between them and put one hand on the Latina's shoulder, and the other hand she put gently on Santana's tear-stained cheek. The Latina put her hand over Brittany's and lowered her eyes. "I'm sorry." The blond girl whispered.

"Britt... I love you." Santana kept her eyes clenched shut tightly. Brittany didn't say anything. She pulled her hand away, but Santana grabbed it. "So that's it?" Santana breathed. She was starting to get angry. "You don't have anything to say now? You've been trying to find me to say what? Let's be friends? I have friends Britt." Brittany pulled her hand out of Santana's.

"Rachel? She's not your friend. She's a midget. You said so yourself. You hate her. You throw slushies in her face and call her names and steal her boyfriends."

"Ok. The boyfriend thing? I only did that once and they were on a break! The slushie thing- will never happen again. After everything I did to Rachel, she showed me kindness. And i still yelled and treated her like shit. But she continued showing me kindness. Reachel and I made ammends. And as much as it kills me to admit it, she's my friend."

"Ok. So you don't need me then." Brittany turned away from the Latina and took a step forward.

"No. That's not what I'm trying to say. I DO need you. I'm in love with you. It doesn't matter It means I'm in love with you too."

"You don't understand Brittany. I love you. And only you. And if you don't want that with me... then it's over." Santana said sadly. "Like I said before... I think you should go. Maybe someday... but I guess... now's not our time." Santana started sobbing again.

"Don't cry. I hate it when you cry."

"It's your fault I'm crying. Please, please go." Santana backed further away from Brittany. Her whole body was tingling with fear, saddness and heartache.

"I- I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything. Just go."

And Brittany did just that.

Santana slammed her bedroom door shut. She grabbed her phone off the bed and punched in a text.

**Santana: You busy tonight?**

**Rachel: Ballet til 7.**

**Santana: Come over after?**

**Rachel: What's wrong?**

**Santana: Had a convo w/ B**

**Rachel: I'll ask my dads. Shouldn't be a problem.**

**Santana: TY**

**Rachel: NP**

**Santana: I can't be alone right now**

**Rachel: U ok?**

**Santana: Not really**

**Rachel: What can I do?**

**Santana: IDK**

**Rachel: I'll see you later. Hang in there til then. **

Santana flopped back on her bed and sighed. She couldn't cry anymore. She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

When Mrs Lopez came home and found not her daughter's friend Brittany, but her own daughter in her bed, she couldn't help but run to her and hug her, even though she was sleeping. She placed a kiss on her forehead, thanked god and went to the kitchen to call her husband and start making her daughter's favorite dinner.

The End.


End file.
